Confused Abandonment

That was uppermost in my mind, that the tiny creature who has lived with us all of his young life and whose dependence upon us and trust of us is so complete, would be left confused and feeling complete abandonment by us. The innocence of his little canine brain whose familiarity with a particular way of life and whose trust of us would be shattered by our having to leave him in the care of strangers. Perhaps not quite in those 'human' terms, but certainly in terms familiar to little dogs who are loved and pampered and suddenly find themselves in an unfamiliar and threatening environment.

That, and our unwillingness to have the little creature undergo a surgical procedure kept us from making the decision to remove the lipoma that had been steadily growing under his back left leg, around his groin. When we first noticed the lump, it was small, but its existence frightened us. At the veterinarian hospital a pathology test revealed it was comprised of nothing but fat tissues, hence the name, lipoma. And at that first revelation, we were told not to worry, it was benign, and could be removed if it became a problem.

We were reassured. Our older dog, a miniature poodle, had had very small lipomas located under her coat which had originally manifested on her back, near her neck, but had been subsumed eventually. Not this kind of lipoma; from what we heard and read this one would grow, it would not disappear. When it was the size of a golfball, our toy poodle stopped leaping onto the sofa, and when he wanted to get up there, we'd lift him up. The lipoma grew in size quite steadily, never seeming to impair his mobility, never appearing to bother him.

But we were bothered, fearful of subjecting him to a surgical procedure, and the anaesthesia and the aftermath post-surgery of recovery. Until it grew to such a size that we feared it might imperil him in ways we couldn't imagine; certainly it could physically disable him. So the appointment was made. Our veterinarian offered to bring in a veterinarian surgeon, and we agreed. We knew that recovery would include the placement of a shunt to ensure that liquid could escape the cavity where the large lump had been.

We also knew from a previous surgery, when we'd had him neutered years ago, that he was not, like most dogs, stoic about pain. He voiced his discomfort and pain and we suffered along with him. So when we took him in to the animal hospital on Thursday we were anything but happy. We realized, however, we had no choice.