Responsibility Index

If we were to sit in judgement, what would our criteria for a responsibility index be comprised of? Not, of course, that we want to sit in judgement. Of anyone. Since who knows? Others might want to return the compliment. I don't want anyone sitting in judgement of me, after all. No one is perfect. No one is perfectly attuned to the best way to live their lives; most of us do it in a spirit of happenstance; come what may. We react, rather than plan out our lives. But all of us can practise a kind of judgement on ourselves, to want to behave in a manner that best suits our idea of personal responsibility.

Seems that somehow the closer one gets to know others the less palatable their choices may be to the observer. Personally, I find it easy to like people, to get along, to accept others on a superficial level. I don't truly want to get inside someone's head, although I do enjoy exchanging opinions, reactions, perceptions; nothing like a good conversation, particularly when it's an exchange of ideas. On the other hand, there are times when such conversations can get out of hand, as when a casual conversation takes a turn where someone reveals something about themselves you'd really rather not know. That knowledge may become a burden, and an actual impediment to wanting to continue a friendship.

You've got to take people as they are, right? The smooth parts and the bumpy parts, the dimples and the warts. Or not. The choice, after all, is also a personal one. On the other hand, if one is of a gregarious nature and enjoys human companionship as long as it doesn't go too deeply, why not? Again, on a superficial, hail-fellow-well-met level. Assuredly, this is aside from deeply personal relationships, given to family members, to lovers, to spouses, to children.

How does one judge quality of character and the personal responsibility index, after all?

1. There's the woman who is an animal lover, so much so that even though she has a stable of her own companion animals, she volunteers to foster unwanted pets until they can be adopted. She lives in the country, quite a distance from the city, so she commutes at least one hour each way to her job daily; energy-waster. On the energy-plus side, she eschews the use of her dish-washer, she hangs laundry outside weather permitting, she maintains the indoor heat of her home on a decidedly cool side throughout the winter months, and she wouldn't even think of owning an air conditioner. She buys most of her clothes second-hand at the Salvation Army thrift shop. She keeps a kitchen garden of herbs and vegetables in the summer. She reads regularly to her child. She will not permit her child to walk or bicycle on their quiet country road whereas her child's peers are permitted to do so. She will only put her cat out on a lead to ensure it does no harm to local wildlife. She feeds the birds in winter at a multitude of feeders outside her home. She's partially vegetarian. She will stop her vehicle to take control of a lost dog, or to remove a turtle off the highway. She's friendly enough, but prefers the company of animals to that of most people. She is not religious. She'd desperately love to have a man around the house, someone who would cherish her. And help with expenses.
   
2. How about the woman who lives very close to her office, so she can walk in good weather, or bicycle. She eats organically grown food. She drives aggressively, when she drives. She's an unpleasant work companion. She attends church regularly and has good relations with other church attendees. She volunteers at her church bible class for youngsters. She impugns the motives of other people. She snubs strangers; will not respond when greeted by someone she doesn't know. She loves her extended family and enjoys being with them. She has not yet found a partner, but not for lack of trying; since she's attractive, educated and fairly social, doesn't understand why. She enjoys competitive sports and is a good sport herself. In other matters, it's her way or no way.
3. Then there's the guy down the street who never drinks, never smokes, regular church attendance, also sings in the church choir, and just loves it. He's amenable to just about everything. He enjoys gardening. He's raising his family of two boys, two girls, on his own, although the older two are attending university and away from home. The third, a girl, is a ward of the Children's Aid Society because she's difficult to deal with, an unhappy child. The youngest, smart like his father, is a handful, always getting into trouble. Their mother is a habitual drunk; he couldn't cope with her, so left her, but is still concerned enough to keep in touch. He takes the bus to work, gives to charity. He's a little standoffish with neighbours, wouldn't think of lending someone a tool, but does enjoy standing around talking in a neighbourly fashion with anyone he really likes. Mostly women.
4. The other guy down the street greets everyone he meets, love animals. He's the first in line to help out a neighbour, generally hasn't anything bad to say about anyone. He maintains his property in perfect condition. Has a regular gardening service that sprays pesticides even though his neighbours on either side have protested, but he doesn't think much of them anyway. He's always calling out for fast food, it's a joke because he thinks of himself as a connoisseur of fine food. He washes his car several times a week, either in his driveway, or at the car wash. If anyone wants to know about good wine selection, they ask him. He smokes the occasional cigar. Too bad, he treats his wife like a door mat, but she kind of deserves it. Ignores his kids, and that's a pity since they do deserve better. Nice guy, everyone thinks, and would never suspect that the man with that odd accent they're so familiar with is a war criminal.