Solomonic Wisdom Deferred
Truly a heart-rending story. That of two young families in the Czech Republic facing the unfortunate reality that ten months earlier each of them had been handed the newborn baby girl brought into the world by the other. A rare exchange to be sure, but heartbreaking in the grief, regret, uncertainty and longing that it plunges birth parents into. For, what to do?
One would think that exposure trumps everything. That having lived with, cared for and loved a child would stamp that child indelibly as one's own. This, whether or not the child represents one's actual physical, genetic progeny, or someone else's. Can a child taken home by another, carefully tended by that other, encouraged and emotionally bonded with that other possibly take precedence in one's heart by a child raised by oneself?
Is blood really thicker than other bodily elements? Do the emotions poured into the raising of the child, the delight in seeing the child prosper, its early sentience bloom into character and personality count for so little? Do the silken cords of love bind so loosely, after all? Wouldn't a heart break to be faced with that deliberation: to accept what is, or to alter forever the course of the lives represented by the error?
The parents of the two exchanged children live a mere 20 miles apart. Taking into full emotional account the bonding, the nursing activities, the nurturing, the love given and taken so lavishly might it not be feasible to let what is, remain? And then maintain close contact; a half-hour's motor drive from one home to the other.
In the best of all possible alternatives, the parents learn about and accept one another as kin, good friends perhaps, while the children may become accustomed to viewing one another as siblings. But then, perhaps not; the birth parents' longing for that which they feel is theirs, a child of their mixed genetic pattern might prevail and jealousy and bitterness at separation set in.
So the parents, both sets, have agreed that their adored and beloved little girls will undergo yet another exchange in their tender lives. "It was just impossible to believe that this could happen. We have raised Nikola for the past ten months. She's a beautiful little girl who's always smiling, and it's impossible to imagine her now living apart from us. But at the same time, just 20 miles away lives our real daughter."
Real? What is real? Not the exquisite parental love felt for the child one has nurtured and jubilantly witnessed emerging into her own awareness, intelligence and personality?
But the parents, having thought long and hard have agreed to meet and spend time together. While becoming acquainted with one another, they would also have ample opportunity to spend time, each set, with their own biological child. Before the ultimate exchange takes place. Before puzzled infants are passed from one set of parents to another.
Will there be something lost in transition?
One would think that exposure trumps everything. That having lived with, cared for and loved a child would stamp that child indelibly as one's own. This, whether or not the child represents one's actual physical, genetic progeny, or someone else's. Can a child taken home by another, carefully tended by that other, encouraged and emotionally bonded with that other possibly take precedence in one's heart by a child raised by oneself?
Is blood really thicker than other bodily elements? Do the emotions poured into the raising of the child, the delight in seeing the child prosper, its early sentience bloom into character and personality count for so little? Do the silken cords of love bind so loosely, after all? Wouldn't a heart break to be faced with that deliberation: to accept what is, or to alter forever the course of the lives represented by the error?
The parents of the two exchanged children live a mere 20 miles apart. Taking into full emotional account the bonding, the nursing activities, the nurturing, the love given and taken so lavishly might it not be feasible to let what is, remain? And then maintain close contact; a half-hour's motor drive from one home to the other.
In the best of all possible alternatives, the parents learn about and accept one another as kin, good friends perhaps, while the children may become accustomed to viewing one another as siblings. But then, perhaps not; the birth parents' longing for that which they feel is theirs, a child of their mixed genetic pattern might prevail and jealousy and bitterness at separation set in.
So the parents, both sets, have agreed that their adored and beloved little girls will undergo yet another exchange in their tender lives. "It was just impossible to believe that this could happen. We have raised Nikola for the past ten months. She's a beautiful little girl who's always smiling, and it's impossible to imagine her now living apart from us. But at the same time, just 20 miles away lives our real daughter."
Real? What is real? Not the exquisite parental love felt for the child one has nurtured and jubilantly witnessed emerging into her own awareness, intelligence and personality?
But the parents, having thought long and hard have agreed to meet and spend time together. While becoming acquainted with one another, they would also have ample opportunity to spend time, each set, with their own biological child. Before the ultimate exchange takes place. Before puzzled infants are passed from one set of parents to another.
Will there be something lost in transition?
posted by Pieface @ 5:00 PM
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