Ruminations

Blog dedicated primarily to randomly selected news items; comments reflecting personal perceptions

Monday, March 22, 2010

Phony Pulchritude

Disney sets the rules. Family entertainment must be authentic, wholesome, natural, and amusing, above all. Formulaic? It works. With one blockbuster after another, pleasing both to adults and to their children. Pleasing, immensely so, to the bottom line. Success just goes on breeding success. Why throw away that wonderful recipe, after all?

And Disney has no plan to do anything remotely like that.

Casting for the next Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End is proceeding. This will be no less than the fourth of these swashbuckling fancy-ticklers to be produced. Box office success supreme. Starring none other than that family man, Johny Depp. Who has the great good sense to earn his keep handsomely through Hollywood products, ensuring his own progeny is well protected from its effects.

Casting is looking for a female lead. And it is advertising for same. Word circulating is that no one with breast augmentation need apply. Looks toothsomely interesting, but does not quite represent family viewing fare. There may be nothing quite natural about Disney fantasies, and breast augmentation, come to think of it does represent the fruition of some fantasies, but not Disney's.

"Beautiful female fit models. Must be five-foot-seven to five-foot eight, size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18 - 25. Must have a lean dancer body. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants." Got it? That's the precise formula. Of course there may be some problems inherent in that search, since so many size 4 or 6s, ages 18 - 25 with 'lean dancer' bodies, aspire to be other than what they have been naturally endowed with.

Genuine, natural, authentic, honest, that's what the game-plan is. To reflect the clean-cut and amusing Pirates stories, of course. Captain Jack Sparrow may represent like no other such hero in history, an ersatz buccaneer with frippery and foppery and scrambled eggs for brains, but he is so lovable, is he not? That's good enough for audiences; it's the reality they want.

This is Hollywood, after all.

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