"Flabbergasted"

That's what a flabby agenda will get for you: "flabbergasted", but insouciantly so. As in it hardly matters, we'll just recalculate and select another suitable date. After all, if the End of Days is going to arrive, it'll come, like it or not. And it's best to be forewarned. Better still to be prepared. The evangelical broadcaster Harold Camping is pleased to bring such glad tidings to all the ears that will open to hear.

It's hard to believe that the world is inhabited by some strange alternate species for whom such tidings bring great joy. Such joy that what some might shudder at the prospect of - seeing the world collapse in upon itself, and the Great Spirit in the Sky gathering up the faithful to celebrate with them their ascension to Heaven - is a matter of hugely momentous Rapture to the faithful believers.

The skeptics who are yet believers in the omniscient omnipotence of God cluck with disapproval at the Reverend Camping's presumptuousness. It is not, after all, his province, nor is it meet for a mere human to express a definitive opinion that should be left to God's graceful pronunciation alone. For only God knows when the world will end.

And, as far as a California-based Rapture blogger is concerned Harold Camping is pushing his luck: "He's in big trouble with God", she claims. Does she have this vital data on the basis of a private conversation with God? If so, she's an insider and Mr. Camping is a mere amateur of pretense trying to trump authenticity.

Poor Harold Camping. The world simply wasn't paying sufficient attention. Yes, there were untoward occurrences; earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions, floods, firestorms. But in selected geographic areas, making life miserable for a relative handful of unfortunates. The colossal, world-wide paroxysms of the Earth preparing to perish, was a no-show.

Back to the calendar, Camping. Get someone to teach you how to use a calculator. Of course, there's still October 21st. Camping has great faith in himself.