Geriatric Sex : I'll Have Some of That!

"Satisfaction rates have gone up, they're having sex more often, it's bettr quality, there's more attention paid, they're having different kinds of sex. It's not just the rush between when one kid goes to bed and the other to soccer practice. There's more time and opportunity."

"[Most older adults are not using condoms] because they may have been married and in monogamous relationships] while many of these conditions [STIs] have no symptoms]."

"We really have to teach sexual health to 70-, 80- and 90-year olds."

Laura TamblynWatts, founder, president and CEO, seniors' advocacy organization CanAge

"It might not go further [than kissing or holding hands] but that doesn't mean it isn't intimate and sexual behaviour. It might look more like foreplay -- more turn taking, more breaks, and different positions."

"Those who are open to that see it as normal changes that happen with time, and are the ones who continue to be satisfied and happy with where their sex lives are."

"[They] can still be interested in having sex but issues of privacy, consent, societal stigma -- where we don't want to think or talk about older adults still having sex -- can lead to a culture of don't ask, don't tell."

"Consequences [of that may be] they're not provided with the education or tools to have that safe sex."

"Staff [in retirement homes] should have awareness and manage it in a sensitive way. Sexual behaviour can be seen by some people as problem behaviours to manage, which is not a very sex-positive way to be thinking about it."

"I also think there's some responsibility on the physician, since they're ideally suited to initiate those conversations. If [some retirement home] residents are developing relationships, the physician could be well placed to help navigate privacy and to support safe and healthy sexual relationships."

Natalie Rosen, associate professor, department of psychology and neuroscience, Dalhousie University

 

According to a 2017 poll by the Sex Information & Education Council of Canada, older adults view sex as a key component of their happiness and well-being, and many older people continue to engage in intimate relations well into their 70s and 80s. Seniors, needless to say, while continuing to enjoy sex do face some complications relating to the very fact of aging. Where biological changes, hormonal changes, health challenges, all come into play.

Older men contend with declines in their testosterone levels which invariably lead to difficulties in erection maintenance. For older women it is the drop in estrogen that for many leads to painful sex. Underlying health issues connected with the aging process such as the onset of arthritis and of heart issues also have a role in complicating the ease that younger people are endowed with and older people deprived of, in their pursuit of sex.

Psychologists and those working in the field of geriatrics, cite the benefits accruing with sexual activity that include an increased sense of self-esteem and confidence, a fuller sense of well-being, and a healthier immune system alongside the inestimable benefits of enjoying closer intimacy and emotional connection, leading to reduced anxiety and improved sleep patterns.

Dr. Rosen in particular lingers on the issue of a fairly universal reluctance to address the issue of elder-sex; from younger relatives or children of the elderly, to their physicians, all loathe to discuss the topic and its benefits and the need to practise intimacy safely, much less entertain the thought of the elderly enjoying that kind of intimacy. The discomfort of such discussions or contemplating broaching them with their patients means the medical community is doing their elderly patients a disservice.

For one thing, the possibility of sexually transmitted infections may seem remote, but in certain circumstances the issue though troubling to contemplate, is one that should be addressed properly. According to Health Canada, from the early 2000s forward, STI rates for people 60 and older have significantly increased to a five percent increase in syphilis, an 87 percent rise in gonorrhea, and 142 percent increase in chlamydia.

An added reality is that some elderly are finding as they approach the end years of their lives that they are willing to 'come out', to address the issues they have denied for most of their lives, now that the stigma of being gay has been lifted from the place it was in when they were young in a more conservative era. Some elderly even having been in heterosexual marriage throughout their lives are now identifying as gay.

"Even if they were married their whole life to a person of the opposite sex, that doesn't mean that they don't have different sexual interests or attractions that they're now more comfortable with or want to explore."

"Baby boomers in particular are feeling more comfortable coming out than ever before. My main advice is to be flexible, adapt what you used to do to some of the changes that you're experiencing, [and] communicate with their partner."

"Long-term care homes need to reduce stigma, and not make assumptions that sexual activity isn't happening. Be open and forthright with residents [in a way] that supports them with the education and support they need to be safe."

Natalie Rosen, Dalhousie University