Humour In Spycraft

"Would you like a real interview?" (Michael V. Hayden)

"I'm not a reporter." (Tom Matzzie)

"Everybody's a reporter." (Michael V. Hayden)

In the modern age of instant communications, the ubiquity of cellphones with their photograph-taking capabilities and their ready use of Twitter's accounts, everyone has become a reporter, a photographer, an instant news-taker and journalist. News rooms are now dependent on instant photography by onlookers at the scene of disasters or unusual events and natural phenomena to enhance their news stories with the punch of a picture speaking a thousand words.

In the instance of former National Security Agency chief Michael Hayden, casually speaking on his cellphone aboard an Amtrak train on its way to Newark, that was the lesson that was brought home to him with a punch of clarity. It might be assumed that someone of his experience and his presumed knowledge of human nature, might be aware that name-recognition and human curiosity might present as a problem.

He was, after all, on a public transportation conveyance, speaking of high-level intelligence matters in a normal tone of voice that carried over to surrounding seats, piquing the curiosity of others armed with the requisite tools of reportage. So that when Mr. Hayden spoke of President Barack Obama's Blackberry, modified to block the possibility of foreign eavesdropping (Angela Merkel, take note!), passenger Tom Matzzie pricked up his ears and began texting.

Recognizing just who Michael V. Hayden was, he tweeted: "Former NSA spy boss Michael Hayden on Acela behind me blabbing 'on background as a former senior admin official'". And, he added: "Sounds defensive." Mr. Matzzie, surprise, just happened to be a former Washington director of MoveOn.org.

He continued tweeting for another fifteen minutes as Mr. Hayden continued his blissfully oblivious dialogue with someone referred to as "Massimi". Mr. Matzzie experienced no difficulty putting the clues together; that the former national security agency chief was unloading to Time's national security reporter, Massimo Calabresi.

"Michael Hayden on Acela giving reporters disparaging quotes about admin. Remember, just refer as former senior admin." Mr. Matzzie breezily tweeted to his audience. His audience evidently included someone who took the trouble to alert Mr. Hayden, by the very same medium, evidently. Which spurred Mr. Hayden to complete his call and approach Mr. Matzzie.

After their brief question-and-answer (as above), they chatted amicably about the Fourth Amendment, prohibiting unreasonable searches and seizures, and NSA surveillance. And then the two posed together for a friendly photo.

"I didn't criticize the president. I actually said these are very difficult issues. I said I had political guidance, too, that limited the things that I did when I was director of NSA. Now that political guidance is going to be more robust." 

Yessir, Mr. LooseLips.