Compellingly Professional

Well, there is nothing quite like the classist, eccentric, self-righteous, boringly self-absorbed British. Never a dull moment, it would appear. Sometimes their small-minded self-entitlement creates truly scandalous, albeit amusing incidents that make it quite clear how discombobulating life can be for British academics jealous of their professional credentials, and just loving to prick pins into the irritatingly-inflated reputations of their academic peers, to brighten their own.

Don't like the well-researched and documented tomes of another academic writer? Well, do something! Don't just sit around waiting for some staid reviewer to publish a condemnation of a rival's published output, it may never happen. Take the initiative, and write a scathing put-down of your own. And don't tuck it away in a desk drawer. Publish it. Anonymously, if need be. But commit yourself to doing something positive for yourself to settle your ire.

And that's just what British historian and author Orlando Figes committed himself to. With his elevated position as a historian of high repute, who would ever suspect him of having succumbed to such a nasty turn? Well, perhaps the very academics whose work he trashed, that's who. Enterprising in their own right, recognizing his style, and through the simple expedient of an on-line check.

And the sordid little story of one academic's jealous tirade against the published successes of those whom he considered his academic inferiors comes to light. So what do you do about it? Well deny, of course. And hire a lawyer. And outright lie to the lawyer. Convince your wife to admit it was she, not you, who'd written those rotten reviews. All in vain.

The author of the damning online reviews who signed himself "Historian", characterizing works by others as "rubbish", a "dull read", "dense", "pretentious" and other unkind and cutting comments also wrote scintillating reviews of his own book. His own was, for example, "beautifully written ... leaves the reader awed, humbled, yet uplifted ... a gift to us all."

In his dreams, perhaps. Because of his clumsiness and his lack of attention to details, as for example, hiding incriminating evidence as to his identity, he is now suffering nightmares of his chickens coming home to roost. "I am ashamed of my behaviour and don't entirely understand why I acted as I did. Some of the reviews I now see were small minded and ungenerous, but they were not intended to harm."

Small minded and ungenerous? That's putting it mildly. But since they were not intended to harm, well then, that's all right. It can readily be seen that this poor man was not in full possession of his faculties. Was he, then, when he threatened to sue for defamation when one of his victims accused him of being the hidden critic?

Well, the poor man is now on sick leave. Sick? Yes, he's completely ill from the controversy. Not at all what he set out to do, what he had intended. "This crisis has exposed some health problems, though I offer that more as explanation than excuse. I need some time now to reflect on what I have done and the consequences of my actions with medical help."

In this instance is 'explanation' not excuse? Sad sot.