The Myth of Happy Families

Surely happy families do exist.  They must.  On the other hand there is no real knowing the deep, dark, flawed relationships and resentments that exist within dysfunctional families.  As with all human relationships, so many are fraught with problems. People, despite growing up in the same household, come by their experiences with the aid of their very idiosyncratic personalities.  People are basically unalike, though they may share some values, and some familial backgrounds and experiences.

Separation in adulthood when childhood was not ideal can create some very miserable relationships between siblings, between parents and children.  How else explain the frosty, disinterested relations between brothers and sisters, brothers and brothers, sisters and sisters, and they to their aging and aged parents that are all too frequently observed?  It seems odd beyond understanding that some family members have chosen to sequester themselves, to become completely divorced from their families.

But, of course, it does happen, and more often than we can imagine.  The human mind can conceive some very strange beliefs and ideas.  When raw emotion is so deeply embedded that rationality cannot find a place beside it in the mind that has turned against others.  Whatever deep, dark resentment exists simply festers and becomes more vitriolic until there is no point at which the relationship can be redeemed.  With the best of intentions these sunderings manage to occur.

It was recently revealed that an older woman whose childhood experiences had left her timid and uncertain, had become a robbery victim by her sister's deliberate and malign actions.  When Mary Anne Mitchell was admitted to hospital for an operation her sister had entered her apartment and taken some important personal documentation, including her CIBC Visa card.  And then the sister had, over the space of a month, withdrawn $11,000 leaving her sister in debt.

Visa has refused to forgive that debt.  The sister, Patricia Marion, faces charges of theft over $5,000 fraud, theft of a credit card and possession of a stolen credit card.  A warrant for her arrest is outstanding, issued when she failed to appear at a court hearing.  And the robbed sister is paying off that enormous debt at the rate of $250 a month.  The bank is unhappy, and has asked for more, but 60-year-old Mitchell has only a small pension.

The woman's ex-husband has attempted to act on her behalf, arguing that the bank had failed in due diligence when it permitted a woman who telephoned CIBC Visa for a change of address, re-directing the Visa statements so they would be mailed to the sister's apartment, not to Ms. Mitchell.  "CIBC Visa was asleep at the switch when they permitted a change of address without ensuring they were speaking to Mary Anne."

Mary Anne Mitchell, who suffers from a serious anxiety disorder and requires the assistance of a mental-health caseworker, has signed over power of attorney to her ex-husband.  It was soon after her release from hospital post-surgery that Ms. Mitchell discovered her bank balance was far lower than she felt it should be.  Her sister had withdrawn $4,500.