Raising a Child in Creaky Old-Age

"[Critics speak of post-menopausal mothers as] gross, unnatural and selfish [as] bad [mothers flaunting] the social norms surrounding motherhood -- where the good mother is construed as young, beautiful, energetic and selfless."
"There's a lot more social disapproval, it seems, against older mothers than older fathers."
Angel Petropanagos, ethicist, feminist philosopher, Dalhousie University

"[For some women who decide to bear a child in their very mature years] life got in the way and they decided to make babies later."
"Some are in new relationships and they're trying to build a child that's unique to that relationship."
"We want some kind of caregiver for this child. Even if it's same-sex females or same-sex males, you'd like to know that at least one of them is going to be around longer [to raise the child]."
Dr. Ari Baratz, chair, Ontario Medical Association reproductive biology section

"Ultimately, I think we all recognize that the concept of stopping [fertility] treatment at a certain point makes sense."
"The tricky part is where, exactly, to draw the line, [denying in vitro treatment to an older woman] given that any cutoff, no matter where it's drawn, is on some level arbitrary."
Dr. Neal Mahutte, medical director, Montreal Fertility Centre

Fotolia      In Toronto, owing to the marvels of artificial procreation, a mother who qualifies for the seniors menu at Denny’s is raising a 19-month-old toddler

Bioethicist Arthur Caplan, head of medical ethics at New York University's Langone Medical Center, feels that the ubiquity and influence of social media and celebrity worship has some part to play in women of very mature years deciding to bear their first child, despite those mature years. He calls the syndrome "television optimism", a view of mature women deluded into thinking that why not? If, for example, Janet Jackson at 50 could decide to have her first child, it's feasible and appropriate for them too.

"Of course, what isn't said, is 'I have seven nannies and a chauffeur", pointed out Dr. Caplan. Backup of a nature that most people cannot rely upon, only the wealthy. According to fertility experts the chances of natural conception descends precipitously to below one in 1,000 by the time a woman turns 45 years of age. Despite living longer and living better it was pointed out, creeping old age does alter us. "The odds are that you will encounter a health problem that is very significant over 65", cautioned Dr. Caplan.

AFP/Getty

The singer is reportedly pregnant

There's also the issue of the male side of genetic health conferred on a child by its father. Older couples tend to prefer to use the male partner's sperm with a donor egg when they undergo in vitro fertilization. Growing evidence links advanced paternal age of fifty or greater with chromosomal abnormalities like Down syndrome. And there exists an increased risk of autism and schizophrenia developing in a child born to older parents.

However, as Dr. Jeffrey Roberts, president-elect of the Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society and medical director for the Pacific Centre for Reproductive Medicine in Burnaby, British Columbia points out: "We're getting requests and situations where ethically, we're a little bit torn. It's a complicated topic". One that fertility doctors in Canada are experiencing difficulty in reaching a consensus over in agreement on a specific age cutoff.

The reality is that the number of babies born to women 50 and older in Canada is on the increase. One hundred-forty-five live births were registered to women aged 50 and older between 2010 and 2012. In comparison there were just fifteen such births in the years 2001 to 2003, according to Statistics Canada. Past the age of 47 there are very few instances where women are able to use their own eggs with the technique of in vitro fertilization; donor eggs are depended upon.

Dr. Baratz, a reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist at the CReATe Fertility Centre in Toronto, while not the woman's doctor, works out of the same clinic that assisted a woman in Toronto to give birth at age 56 using donor eggs and donor sperm, in 2014. Clinics are not obliged by law to collect or report statistics so it isn't known whether this woman represents the oldest Canadian woman to give birth with donor eggs and sperm through in vitro fertilization.

The woman who holds the world title for agedness and birth, is Daljinder Kaur who at 72, gave birth to a healthy boy with the use of anonymous donor eggs, in India. Most fertility specialists feel that whoever it was who professionally guided the 72-year-old through a pregnancy and birth process did her and her son no favours, while using them both as a experiment in the possible.

NARINDER NANU/AFP/Getty Images   Indian father Mohinder Singh Gill, 79, and his wife Daljinder Kaur, 72, pose for a photograph as they hold their newborn baby boy Arman at their home in Amritsar on May 11, 2016.

Without legal guidelines the door is wide open for medical and human relations catastrophes since egg donation makes it a possibility for a woman of any age with a uterus to carry a baby with the use of eggs from a fertile, younger woman. And until such guidelines are in place and functioning, the for-profit fertility industry claims women between 50 and 60 conceiving with the use of donor eggs can expect "acceptable outcomes".

They are, though, at increased risk of pre-eclampsia (rapid and potentially life-threatening high blood pressure) and gestational diabetes. And here are those little details over whether a woman in advanced years, even a healthy one with no existing health problems, has the patience and the skills to nurture and raise an infant. And how long she will live without a chronic illness requiring care herself, taking her personal care away from a child she is raising.

So yes, it definitely is a selfish decision for a woman past 45 to take on pregnancy and childbirth.