Health-and-Sanity Hazards : The Tenants From Hell

"I could tell you things that no human should know about what happens to mould when it grows on semen."
"It [the condition of his rental house] was a biohazard, it was a fire hazard, it was a health hazard."
"The law just does not protect people I'm the victim here. If I went to your house and did what they did to my house, I'd be charged criminally."
"I rented for 25 years, I'm all for tenants' rights, but that presumes reasonable people behaving normally."
"There's no law to stop anyone from keeping a goat in the house."
Simon Andrew, landlord, Kingston, Ontario

A goat, yes, and oh well, rabbits, chickens and pigeons as well. Evidently, the goat slept on the sofa, pictured above. Free to go where they would around the three-bedroom house he rented out in 2014 to a mature couple and their adult son. At the time, they had "interviewed well", said Mr. Andrew, and appeared to him, as people with references, like "really nice people". To his anguish and cost, what he assumed was evidently not all there was to these unassuming, nice people.

To say merely that they trashed his property would represent a deliberately affected evasion of the truth. When it came time for housecleaning, this family went at it in a way that must have seemed to them most direct, using water by the bucketful -- literally, to clean the floor, sweeping the resulting slurry of detritus and filth, garbage and animal feces right through to the heating vents. When the landlord succeeded finally in ousting his tenants, cleaners took to chiseling dried feces off floors and walls.
In all, an impressive nine tones of garbage was removed from this unprepossessing house. Used tampons, hypodermic needles used to inject insulin, and trays of urine that had been left in drawers had to be withdrawn and discarded -- with as much distaste and care as can be imagined. Surely, the cleaners came equipped with biohazard uniforms?! It has been months since the family left the pigsty they had converted this rental property into, and the cleanup continues.

Evidently the house had suffered from the indignity of being "grease-bombed", as well. Fatty meat was placed in the oven, the heat turned to high, the oven door left ajar, and as fumes filled the house the grease settled on the top of walls, then ran down toward the floor. With the help of a ruling from Ontario's Landlord and Tenant Board and six months of effort, the family was finally evicted.

Discovered in the cleanp-up among the debris was evidence of the family's dedication to paying their way. Overdue bills in the thousands for utilities, propane and telephone and Internet remained behind. At a rough estimate, Mr. Andrew figures that repairs to his house will come to a total of around $30,000. "They are leaving a trail of destruction of other people's lives, that's what they are really doing. They are screwing up my life", he said, bitterly frustrated.

Can anyone blame this man for his hapless frustration?
Photos: courtesy of Simon Andrew, one very unhappy man.