Family Pain
It might seem to the young woman who decided to call off her impending marriage to the young man whom she discovered had betrayed her trust and that of her family by preying on her younger sister, a personal tragedy. But through the pain and trauma of discovery she was saved from a dreadful marriage. She is now haunted by the vision of her trust in the man who became her fiancee, and her introduction of him into her family circle as a betrayal.
How was she to know that the young man who seemed so right for her, who seemed to share her values and was as anxious to marry her as she was to marry him, was burdened by a dreadful disease? On the other hand, the young man who secured her trust, and who became a fixture within her family, accepted as a future son-in-law, most certainly was aware that he was a predator, and he did nothing to stop himself preying on a trusting 10-year-old.
Jeffrey Cain pleaded guilty to sexual interference with a minor. He has been diagnosed as a pedophile. He was sentenced to an eight-month period in prison for the crime of interfering with a child who was nine at the first instance, and ten at the time of two later offences. Now that truly, is a violation of emotional trust and physical security.
The young woman, abused of her trust in the man who was preparing to become her husband, blames herself for altering her family's perspective on welcoming into their home people who just might turn out to be odious child-molesters. And the mother and father of Jeffrey Cain will live with the pain of knowing their son was found guilty of sexually abusing a child's trust.
The young man seems quite aware now of the position his twisted search for sexual gratification has left him in. He expressed to his former fiancee how "incredibly, incredibly sorry" he was. Presiding Ontario Court Justice Lise Maisonneuve stated that she hoped the young man would receive the treatment he required while in prison.
A sad story that could have been profoundly sadder, but destructive enough in its results.
Then there's the story of a young woman, Nicole Doucet, married to a Canadian Forces soldier for eighteen years, with a young daughter. Three Nova Scotia Court of Appeal judges upheld Nicole Doucet's acquittal for attempting to hire a hit man to kill her husband. The man she negotiated to hire was an undercover policeman.
And the result of her trial was explicable with the description of the woman's suffering, living with an abusive man who threatened to kill both her and their daughter, if she tried to divorce him. He had decided, pre-marriage, that having a wife would help his reputation, marred in the military by his behaviour.
She felt drawn to him, thinking he was a good person who had surmounted a bad childhood.
His explosive, abusive, controlling personality was revealed to her, as so frequently occurs, only after their marriage. Another case of a battered spouse fearing for her life and that of her child. The years of abuse she had suffered living with her husband in military bases in Ontario, Alberta, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, convinced the judges that she had acted in desperation.
Women's rights groups might see this case as one that did not end as so many others have, in an abusively controlling husband murdering the wife who finally left him. Seeing instead a woman who, driven to the depths and the limits of her emotional and physical endurance, attempted to remove him from her life, choosing her life over his.
Not all marriages are made in heaven; not even a minuscule proportion of them. Human beings are different in their values, their temperaments, their orientation and their priorities. Their social flexibility, their ability to love another as much as they do themselves, their emotional maturity, and their outlook on life in general.
There are without doubt as many emotionally unstable women as there are men. Women tend to wound with their sharp, malicious tongues, leaving indelible emotional wounds. Men, in extreme situations, tend to wound with their hands, leaving mortal finality that harms in perpetuity.
One half of the equation may survive their intimate emotional ordeals, while the other may not.
How was she to know that the young man who seemed so right for her, who seemed to share her values and was as anxious to marry her as she was to marry him, was burdened by a dreadful disease? On the other hand, the young man who secured her trust, and who became a fixture within her family, accepted as a future son-in-law, most certainly was aware that he was a predator, and he did nothing to stop himself preying on a trusting 10-year-old.
Jeffrey Cain pleaded guilty to sexual interference with a minor. He has been diagnosed as a pedophile. He was sentenced to an eight-month period in prison for the crime of interfering with a child who was nine at the first instance, and ten at the time of two later offences. Now that truly, is a violation of emotional trust and physical security.
The young woman, abused of her trust in the man who was preparing to become her husband, blames herself for altering her family's perspective on welcoming into their home people who just might turn out to be odious child-molesters. And the mother and father of Jeffrey Cain will live with the pain of knowing their son was found guilty of sexually abusing a child's trust.
The young man seems quite aware now of the position his twisted search for sexual gratification has left him in. He expressed to his former fiancee how "incredibly, incredibly sorry" he was. Presiding Ontario Court Justice Lise Maisonneuve stated that she hoped the young man would receive the treatment he required while in prison.
A sad story that could have been profoundly sadder, but destructive enough in its results.
Then there's the story of a young woman, Nicole Doucet, married to a Canadian Forces soldier for eighteen years, with a young daughter. Three Nova Scotia Court of Appeal judges upheld Nicole Doucet's acquittal for attempting to hire a hit man to kill her husband. The man she negotiated to hire was an undercover policeman.
And the result of her trial was explicable with the description of the woman's suffering, living with an abusive man who threatened to kill both her and their daughter, if she tried to divorce him. He had decided, pre-marriage, that having a wife would help his reputation, marred in the military by his behaviour.
She felt drawn to him, thinking he was a good person who had surmounted a bad childhood.
His explosive, abusive, controlling personality was revealed to her, as so frequently occurs, only after their marriage. Another case of a battered spouse fearing for her life and that of her child. The years of abuse she had suffered living with her husband in military bases in Ontario, Alberta, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, convinced the judges that she had acted in desperation.
Women's rights groups might see this case as one that did not end as so many others have, in an abusively controlling husband murdering the wife who finally left him. Seeing instead a woman who, driven to the depths and the limits of her emotional and physical endurance, attempted to remove him from her life, choosing her life over his.
Not all marriages are made in heaven; not even a minuscule proportion of them. Human beings are different in their values, their temperaments, their orientation and their priorities. Their social flexibility, their ability to love another as much as they do themselves, their emotional maturity, and their outlook on life in general.
There are without doubt as many emotionally unstable women as there are men. Women tend to wound with their sharp, malicious tongues, leaving indelible emotional wounds. Men, in extreme situations, tend to wound with their hands, leaving mortal finality that harms in perpetuity.
One half of the equation may survive their intimate emotional ordeals, while the other may not.
Labels: Family, Human Relations, Social-Cultural Deviations, societal failures
posted by Pieface @ 6:14 PM
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