Drowning In A Swamp of Self-Pity

"It was like the last thing she could take from me and she took it. I couldn't believe it [estranged wife changed home locks]. You want a war, you'll get one."
"I'm feeling sad [describing his mental state in February 2009]. I sit in the living room with them [Olivier 5, Anne-Sophie 3], and the tears just flow, in silence ... I cry."
"He [Olivier] comes over, gives me a hug and takes me in his arms ... Anne-Sophie does the same thing."
"A sledgehammer to the forehead wouldn't have hurt as much. Then I realize I am absent, that I am no longer there. That Martin [wife's boyfriend] is taking my place. I hang up and I start bawling, I'm bawling ... I'm losing my place in my kids' family life."
"I can't believe it. I am shattered."
Dr. Guy Turcotte, Quebec cardiologist, Saint-Jerome, Quebec

Guy Turcotte leaves the Saint Jerome courthouse in Saint Jerome, Que., Monday, September 14, 2015, where jury selection began in his re-trial in the deaths of his children Anne-Sophie and and Olivier in 2009.
(Graham Hughes/THE CANADIAN PRESS)

"Condemning a person who is not criminally responsible would shake the legal foundations and strike a blow to the integrity of the judicial system."

"It would be horrible to be condemned for acts that are not the acts of a person of sound mind."

Pierre Poupart, lawyer for the defence, Montreal

"I told him ‘Guy, don’t take it the wrong way or get mad, but I had the locks changed. He started yelling … 'You want war? I’ll give you war!’"

"I never thought he could kill them. It was a difficult year [of skirmishes, harsh words and strife, in 2009]."

"He did not hit me, but there was verbal and psychological violence. I was also verbally abusive. It was like a spiral. We had a toxic dynamic."
"You never think before losing your kids that you’ll survive it. That day [of her children's murder] I thought I was going to hang myself."
Isabelle Gaston, courtroom testimony

Isabelle Gaston, ex-wife of Guy Turcotte, arrives to testify at the courthouse in Saint Jerome, Que., on Monday.
(Ryan Remiorz/THE CANADIAN PRESS)

In testifying at his murder trial, the second trial in which he stands accused of first-degree murder in the killing of his two young children, this man reveals the depths of his forlorn realization that the life he so valued is moving beyond his reach; the little family of wife and two young children that meant the world to him hadirreversibly shattered, and his psyche shattered with that understanding.

Paternal love should be capable of overcoming the obstacles of enforced separation. What is more common in today's world of the sundering of the marriage compact than children spending time with both parents, separately, and the parents adjusting to their new reality. Not necessarily appreciating the change in their lives, the complications and the personal pain, but dealing with it.

The marriage was unstable from 2001 forward, with husband and wife reconciling before the birth of the children. Isabelle Gaston, an emergency-room physician, spoke of her fears of physical abuse, of becoming sick and tired of being controlled in her marriage. But by early 2009 the couple engaged in continual arguments, leading to their permanent separation period. 

It is not as though this man came from an underprivileged background, suffering from uncivilized reactions of savage revenge appearing appropriate to avenge himself on a wife who no longer loved him, deciding to separate, and finally to begin divorce proceedings because she realized she loved someone else. Most fathers continue to be important anchors in their children's futures, despite separation from their daily lives.

Wallowing in a cesspool of self-pity for his loss, overwhelmed by the finality of his wife's declared decision to seek a divorce, he collapsed in a heap of quivering resentment. Resenting that another man was paramount in his wife's life, that another man would be acting in his stead as head of that little family. And in a paroxysm of malice, intending to deprive his wife of what she denied him, murdered the children.

His wife informed him that she had consulted a lawyer. She had changed the locks on the doors of the family home which she and the children still inhabited. She feared his unannounced incursions; he had previously confronted his rival and assaulted him, in the house. And he had discovered that his wife had taken a trip to Quebec City for winter carnival with her lover, Martin Huot, taking the children with them. In a jealous rage the father described his pain.

The children, witnessing their father in a turmoil of weeping, moved to comfort him. It was that afternoon that he prepared to entertain the two children, stopping to rent films, to buy chips, picking them up and preparing dinner for the children while they watched a video. The 43-year-old Turcotte has pleaded not guilty to the two murder charges he was charged with, even while admitting he caused those stabbing deaths.

This is his second trial. A jury at the conclusion of the first trial found him not guilty by reason of temporary insanity. He was pretty well free to get on with his life. Until on appeal it was decided that the judge in the first trial had erred, and a new trial was ordered. His lawyer helped this man appeal to the Supreme Court to stop the proceedings toward a new trial, but they refused to hear his case.

Before this pitifully loving father of two small defenceless children, vulnerable in their father's care decided to deprive them of life and their mother of her children, a meeting had been arranged with a mediator to work out custody arrangements. "We never met, the children were dead", his wife commented, leaving the courthouse, as the trial convened for the day. 

Guy Turcotte's children Oliver and Anne-Sophie are seen in this file photo. (Supplied Photo)