Hold That Smile

"During he mourning period, we must not drink alcohol, laugh or engage in leisure activities."

"Even if your family member dies during the mourning period, you are not allowed to cry out loud and the body must be taken out after it's over."

"People cannot even celebrate their own birthdays if they fall within the mourning period."

North Korean from northeastern border city, Sinuiju, North Korea

 

"They [the police] will have a special duty to crack down on those who harm the mood of collective mourning."

"It's a month-long special duty for the police. I heard that law enforcement officials cannot sleep at all."

"Residents must also work together to help out the kotjebi [growing number of North Korea's homeless street beggars]."

Second North Korean source, southwestern province of South Hwanghae, North Korea 

Citizens visit the bronze statues of their late leaders Kim Il Sung, left, and Kim Jong Il on Mansu Hill in Pyongyang, North Korea Thursday, Dec. 16, 2021, on the occasion of 10th anniversary of demise of Kim Jong Il

 

In the national interests of the tenth anniversary of the death of Kim Jong Il, father of the current 'dear leader' of North Korea, North Koreans are cautioned from demonstrating joy for a ceremonial, national period of sorrow over the North Korean leader's death. Restrictions limit how North Koreans may express themselves and their spontaneous moods, in the interests of complete uniformity of a national mourning period. This is a strict imposition on the entire population on pain of state punishment.

There is a ban on laughter and alcohol consumption during the period of mourning. One additional day has been added to the usual ten days of mourning, to commemorate the passing of a ten-year anniversary since the leader's death, and the ascension of his son, Kim Jong Un, the country's current supreme leader whose father's death was marked Friday 17 December.  During that mourning period, North Koreans may not shop for food.

Having ruled from 1994 until 2011 when Kim Jong Il, then 69, died of a heart attack, the man who tyrannized the people of North Korea preferred to be addressed adoringly as 'dear leader'. During his rule a dark period descended on North Korea, with the mid-1990s famine known as the "Arduous March". Euphemisms are beloved of the far East.

 

At midday Friday, as a siren blared for three minutes, North Koreans across the country fell silent and bowed in respect for Kim Jong Il. Pictured: People bow to pay their respects in front of a mosaic that shows a depiction of President Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il, to mark the ten year anniversary of the death of Kim Jong Il, the father of current leader Kim Jong Un, in Pyongyang on December 17, 2021

 

During that memorable period of Kim Jong Il rule, an estimated 3.5 million people perished in a four-year period. The entire Kim dynasty is known for periodic times of mass starvation; truly an 'arduous march of an impoverished, oppressed society. Considered the father of the nation, the grandfather of the current leader, Kim Il Sung, along with Kim Jong Un's father, Kim Jong Il's occasion of their deaths are held to be solemn occasions to be observed annually. 

According to RFA (Radio Free Asia), police in North Korea have been warned to look for those who fail to appear upset. An additional effort is required of North Koreans to look after the interests of others who are in a state of famish and impoverishment; if the state won't do it, then the people, themselves struggling for access to food, must. Fears exist of the appearance of a second Arduous March.

Kim, in his trademark leather trench coat, attended a ceremony on Friday at the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, the mausoleum for Kim Jong Il and his father Kim Il Sung - the founder of North Korea. Pictured: A huge crowd stands in front of the palace on Friday

"In the past, many caught drinking or being intoxicated during the mourning were arrested and treated as ideological criminals."

"They were taken away and never seen again."

Surviving Profound Grief

"In the current environment, we are likely to see more people whose grief doesn't lessen with time, and whose intense suffering disrupts their ability to function."

Holly Prigerson, professor of sociology in medicine, Weill Cornell Medical College, New York City

"...For a small but significant group of people, grief doesn't resolve. It is ongoing, pervasive, intense and debilitating. This is what we call prolonged grief disorder [PGD]."

"Research showed that neither antidepressants nor standard depression-focused therapy are very effective for complicated grief. That's why we developed complicated grief treatment."

Katherine Shear professor of psychology, School of Social Work, founding director, Center for Complicated Grief, Columbia University

"People ask us 'Am I going crazy?' all the time, and having PGD recognized will validate their suffering and show them there are others suffering in a similar way."

"Sudden and traumatic deaths, and deaths by suicide, are more likely to lead to complicated grief.:

"If the grieving person is dealing with multiple losses, poor social support, has a lot of stress in their life, or a history of psychological disorders or prior trauma -- those are risk factors, too."

Natalia Skritskaya, clinical psychologist, Center for Complicated Grief, Columbia University

 

With over five million deaths worldwide and growing, the international community has faced an overabundance of human deaths and familial grief in the past two years, thanks to the zoonotic SARS-CoV-2 virus causing COVID-19. With those mounting deaths a corresponding number of bereaved people are suffering irretrievable loss and the mental anguish that accompanies such events. It  hasn't helped that during the pandemic relatives have been barred from being with their dying loved ones, nor that rituals long honoured in mourning the dead, have been suspended.

Dr.Prigerson of the Weill Cornell Medical College has studied the anguish of grief caused by loss of a loved one for three decades, in collaboration with researchers from the U.S., the U.K., the Netherlands and Australia, leading to the decision to include a new disorder in the official major guide of diagnosis in the field of mental health problems. 

The natural reaction to the death of someone who is loved is often brought on by internal or external reminders of the time before that final separation; anniversaries and holiday events are particularly evocative of times past and the loss that occurred through death. Those reactions differ from person to person; everyone grieves in their own way. Some mourners speak incessantly of their loss others become more introspective and removed, mourning silently, and alone.

Most people, as time passes, accept something they have no capacity to prevent, learning to live with the loss. Finding purpose and meaning in life post-bereavement and gradually reintegrating into society, difficult as it is. When after the passage of a year following death of a loved one, the daily intense yearning for their presence or constant, limitless thoughts or memories of the absent one continues, PGD can be diagnosed. 

 

Symptoms required for a diagnosis are: identity confusion, disbelief, avoidance of reminders of the loss, intense emotional pain, difficulty engaging with others and with life, emotional numbness, feeling that life is meaningless, and intense loneliness -- where any three of these symptoms qualify an individual for the diagnosis of PGD. While newly designated as a disorder, these conditions have been documented and investigated for countless years under the descriptive of "complicated grief".

PGD bedevils an estimated one in ten people who have lost someone near and dear, an intimate and loving companion. Many might have wondered whether their sorrow might ever lift. PGD is "neurobiologically and epidemiologically different" even while it shares some symptoms with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, according to Dr.Prigerson. Those diagnosed with PGD are known to be at higher risk of medical problems, other mental health disorders, disability, hospitalization and suicide.

Professionals in the field harbour the expectation that the classification will assist health-care professionals to identify sufferers of PGD so they can be helped properly. Treatments have been identified and practised since the late 1990s and much earlier. An Australian study found grief-focused cognitive behaviour therapy was helpful, a therapy that included noticing thinking traps to mire the sufferers deeper in grief.

Psychotherapy continues to represent a first-line treatment and antidepressants can be useful in the depression often accompanying complicated brief. As well, grief support groups are highly recommended, where other mourners with similar grief problems recount their struggles and a bond is created of sympathetic trust.

"We run a risk of stigmatizing the grieving, reducing their dignity and medicalizing the natural process."

"Some practitioners, especially in primary care after a ten-minute visit, might overuse the new label, over-diagnose and over-prescribe."

Allen Frances, professor and chairman emeritus, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Duke University School of Medicine